Відео

What an experienced, compassionate, wise soul he is. Thank you for being on the planet in such a great time of need for your guidance.

Dexters dark passenger monologue says it perfectly

Could this be tied in anyway to why I spent years of my life dissasociated and trying to understand everything about myself and everyone elses lives...........

A child of a NPD parent may be NPD, and/or BPD. And vice versa. My friend's ex-wife is NPD (wounded), her brother covert NPD, (their mother was NPD), and the ex-wife's older child is NPD, and a younger BPD. ...

My Bullshitmeter has been broken by this video

They know what they're doing is wrong....

It was like dealing with emotional whiplash with my ex with bpd. Never met anyone so damaged, so changeable and so cold at times. He would just end the relationship and go quiet for weeks/months and then come back like nothing happened. It was always doomed and I had to work hard to maintain my own emotional stability. I have a lot of compassion for him but pleased its in my rear view window.

I hope Liz is doing ok today 😢 I totally understand what shes talking about

A narc can create a BPD and not work well in family therapy.

I didn't find any discussion about covert narcissism on the channel.

God, thank you for sharing, this is so helpful to learn.

So, a narc is first a borderline, at a young age, I presume, and then creates a narc structure to deal with the pain they feel...

Borderlines are created by narc. The title here is hard to grasp.

Fascinating.

Diana Diamond is quite helpful here. I think we are all prone to lapsing into a little narcissism, some more than others. Either way, it's wonderful that Diana is providing help rather than giving up and attacking the narcissist. Thank you for posting this video.

What a stupid analogy

I call myself a chameleon because I can camouflage into almost any situation. My demeanor changes, my mood changes, and even my accent will slightly change. It took me years to realize it was happening. It feels like I'm the only one that's really aware of everything and everyone else are kind of like NPCs

4:20 he's talking about bpd there. Not really good video on differentiation tbh

I just wanted to point out how much this is a lot like a relationship with a parent. Clearly treatment for them involves needing a safe parental space they were never able to have…

I always think people are not same in terms of emotionality. On a regular day, a well resilient emotional person is open to get hurt, bounce back by finding solutions, learn from an incident. Many intelligent people can not do that. Narcissism might have something to do with base emotionality. You look at a kid and adolescent, you see there isn't enough frame or tenacity to handle the big blows of a human life. You accept it as a phase. Many turn out well as grown ups. The emotional deficient guy, much alike a big physical difficulty, has to keep pace, but not in that well endowed manner. His signature style, as others would see it, is actually a horrible trauma within and without. We need to expect less, as much we would not want an physical disabled to take up tough tasks.

How is David now? Hope he's doing well

I do not have any kind of patience, not to speak about sympathy for these clowns. When they come around and misbehave I just go for a slap (it works quite well at least for me).

I have BDP and i found girl that actually did something impossible. She made me feel and teust in her love to me. She know how to react when i have anger problem when im in depresed mood. Somehow she managed to fix my thinking. Now im happy YES HAPPY with her. Doing my best to be good for her but sometimes its hard. I hope one day all of u will find someone that will make u feel like that and will carry you to better place. Therapy + person that understand and want to help is everything that we need

I went to a church recently to attend an alpha course (an introduction to christianity). Now i'm not a christian, but like to discuss theology (and i like to argue with christians, but also sympathise with christians ... my own spiritaul views are not a million miles away from theirs but with some important differences which make my beliefs incompatible with theirs). Anyway there was a woman there, probably in her 50s or early 60s ... well presented but quiet in discussion and i could sense a lack of self esteem, and she didn't say much. She told us that her daughter had recently started a charity ... an animal shelter, and then told us that they planned to have their charity grow to worldwide status akin to save the children. - So that was a big red flag, but it led to me thinking that my being there was rather pointless in the long run, ... i was never going to adopt christianity as a belief system so i kind of felt like an imposter and decided to leave, but it did remind me that spirituality can be a huge cope for people ... including myself, because it has been, such that I'm not even sure i believe in my previous spiritual beliefs anymore.

This is very important. I knew this of dynamic therapy, but thought CBT was easier to administer.

women really are crazy lmao

Testosterone allows men to get things done. It’s not for violence. Men can do much more physical taxing jobs because of the testosterone in their bodies. Also allows them to focus on a single task. Women are creators, and incubators who expand on what men give them.

There would seem to be a vicious cycle any one of us might fall into if a perfect storm came upon us. I wonder if the rock and hard place of the old idiom might be the hardened heart and the rock of truth. Thanks you Dr. et al.

I don't know....I can absolutely see the value in asking "do you see how this behaviour would feel aggressive to someone else?".....but I'm not sure trying to convince them that they INTENDED aggression, in a moment where they were so focused on their own pain it's impossible to consider someone else's, is going to do anything other than gaslight them and shame them with your own projections.

Why did this guy have to invent BPD?

Both.

I don't think he's talking about borderline personality disorder when he talks about the borderline personality organization. I think it's different. I think it's a shame that the same term is used for two different concepts. You might want to dig into that a little bit. So having BPD in the title is a little misleading. Although I don't think you did it on purpose because I think it's an easy mistake to make.

Incredibly valuable. Thank you doctor.

I blame the boomers... At the end of the day Generation x was called generation Latch Key because of neglect and abuse. And then. The boomers took over with more neglect and abuse. I think your observations are more of something a behavioral construct And reactionary more than I consider to be psychopathlogy. What is the silent generation call you ? Generation dine and dash. You will show up eat everything you can and leave a mess... I think it's been a subsequent process for the entire time. Including things like not being honest about your trade deals with China etc. Where as you may have made some observation In connection with forms of Observable psychotic behavior ? I think this is far more reaching and far more current...

"There is nothing more elequent than the sighs of spring except two people with BPD tying the knot." Oscar Wilde

Sounds like a particular type of PTSD. This label is so dehumanizing and pathologizing that it can no longer be justified.

Liz, thank you so much for sharing your story. Thank you. It helps so much to hear from someone else who went through similar things. My mother was just like what you have described. I've recently learnt about projective identification, meaning that she projected all her negative feelings of shame, anger, hurt onto me (she wasn't able to self-regulate and abused me as a regulation tool), which resulted in me displaying symptoms of mental illness. It resulted in me being hospitalized BY HER against my will, misdiagnosed with and mistreated for BPD at age 15, while nobody questioned my obviously overly involved mum. Despite her craziness, in everyone's mind I was the one who needed fixing because I was struggling to adapt to her behavior. My father abandoned me with her at age 10 while favoritising my brother, who hated and bullied me for the extra "attention" (emotional abuse) my mum was giving me. It has taken me 33 years to figure out that I wasn't just "born crazy" like my mum always claimed, but that I've been living HER life and HER emotions at the cost of my own identity, my childhood, adolescence and my adult life thus far. This realization is liberating but also painful and incredibly infuriating. I went no contact some 5 years ago, though she still regularly tries to infiltrate my life. Liz, thank you for sharing your story. I wish the very best to you, and to everyone on their recovery journey.

A chameleon, I behave like a chameleon to the point that I don't know who I actually am.

Narcissism is more than childhood wounds, mental illness, psychology, and psycopathy. Narcissism is demonic possession. It's time to acknowledge the spiritual aspect of antisocial and evil personality disorders.

Hey thanks for describing both my parents

The good doctor did not differentiate the normative structures of psychological analyses from cults. I would love a legitimate answer to this point instead of the mockery and hand waving rhetorical approaches I fully expect.

Lack of mentalization. Awareness is so important in healing. Compassion for oneself and others is also important. Really good vid.

I gotchu

I am a person with NPD. I'm not a narcissist. I mean I understand where it comes from. The label. But if we're going to speak as clinicians and as professionals, let's use the language. Let's talk about people with mental illness. Because we're people first. That's been a practice going back 20 years or so? I don't know how long we've been adjusting the language to force ourselves to see things as they are. The title of this video is salacious and probably created to get hits and get views, but it's ridiculous. Every person with NPD or with pathological narcissism is a person. They are human. I think that yeoman is saying this. I think he's pointing out what happens in the mind of a person with NPD and how those people can be helped but I don't think he's saying that if you are a person with NPD you can choose to be human. The more you stigmatize people with NPD and the more you throw attributes of stereotypes and monsters and boogeymen at the person with NPD, the more you give them permission to keep doing the terrible things that they might be doing. If there's a person with NPD who's making bad choices, and you're saying... Well what can you expect. They are narcissist. Then you're saying that they are allowed to do those things because there is no other choice. They can't get better. There are narcissists and so therefore that's although ever be. You wouldn't get angry at a tiger or a bear who attacked another creature in a vicious way because you expect that of a tiger or a bear. When you acknowledge that people with NPD are human, then you can actually hold them accountable for what they do. Because we are accountable for what we do. If we are hurting other people, then we will have to eventually acknowledge that's wrong or suffer the consequences of our actions. We don't get to say, well I have narcissistic personality disorder so I'm allowed to do it I want. I'm allowed to be abusive. No. That's not allowed. It's not assumed that I will be abusive because I have NPD. If I am abusive, it's because I am choosing that. And I can choose not to do that as well. I can choose to heal. I can choose to make a better life for myself. And many people with NPD do that. There are many people living with narcissistic personality disorder who are living rewarding and happy lives. Do they have problems and issues? Of course they do. And likely they are in therapy dealing with it. But they also can have better relationships with other people once they start having a better relationship with themselves. I wouldn't stand by and let any group be marginalized or be ostracized or be stigmatized the way people with NPD are stigmatized. If you want to improve things or even to figure out exactly what happens when there is a toxic and abusive relationship, you really should have a genuine understanding of what NPD is. Every person with NPD is a human. If they are behaving in a way that's not human, that's their choice.

That they are an apex predator and you can BET it can feel that way! But, as I look at my former sister, she’s crazed - with absolute terror. I am her worst nightmare, because I simply exist, let alone me just getting my share of the estate. So, communicating with her was much like trying to have a conversation, with someone who’s throwing furniture at you. I’m not unintuitive and know a lot of the deeper and financial reasons for her behavior. But, I do know it comes from fear.

How do you tell your (now ex) gf that you love, and struggle to give up on, that she has this? As you have tried to bring up, but she immediately goes into the devaluing stage once you do?

Hi everyone, I am a recovering narcissist and have been in weekly therapy for 4.5 years with a psychoanalyst. You can heal but it's a long road. I am now going twice a week as we get into much deeper work (emotionally separating from my abusive and now deceased mother) and I am currently in the depressive state. It's very, very painful but the changes in my life have been so significant, I won't stop now. I have mourned my childhood, my fathers death, accepted his weaknesses. I have reflected and been horrified by how I treated exes and and friends how I let them treat me. I can see how my highly "successful" and transient life has come at the cost of close relationships with family and friends. I have seen, with horror, how I have ditched close friends at the slightest transgression. Every single thing she says in this video I did, in that order. When I started I wouldn't show up, I would lie that I couldn't make the session, I would take off on adventures and "forget" to call him. This went on for months and what I realise now is that I was waiting for him to fire me because that's what I expected. He didn't fire me. He was patient, tolerated it and he just kept showing up, even if I didn't and I very, very slowly let him into my world. Eventually, I reluctantly kept going to the sessions but I made it known it was because I had nothing else going on. The truth was, I had hope, hope that someone cared and would hear the real me, not the me that makes myself heard at every opportunity. After about 2 years I started to see significant changes in my world. My internal world was still agony but externally I started seeing people as 3 dimensional beings and not caricatures that I could play with and manipulate and shape how I want them to be. The more I understood and integrated all of the awful behaviours I projected onto to people the more empathy I developed, the more I could listen and the more value I saw in treating people with love and kindness. I made new friends and treat them with respect. The new friends have no concept of past me and if I fail, I say sorry, I don't run away. My few old friends have told me how much I've changed for the better. You can heal. I too have been very discouraged by so many hateful comments from people who have been burned by narcissists. At the same time, I understand because we leave deep wounds in people, scars for life. I agree that you should run for the hills when you encounter one but please, give the ones trying, like me, a chance. The ones who know and are honest and doing the work. I didn't mean to be this way and I'll spend the rest of my life trying to learn how to re-connect to myself and love myself so that I can love others the way they want and need to be loved. Take care and always have hope.

Mrs Harry Windsor aka Prince Harry's other half.

Stupid question maybe. What’s BPD?

When I was a child I spent a couple of days every summer at my grandfathers house. My mother and my grandfather had quite a rocky start and they did not talk to each other for twenty years until they reconnected during the 1970s and 1980s. As a child I had no idea about this relationship history, I can only remember positive experiences, but the past years I have been discussing my issues with my mother and tried to understand the dysfunctionality in our family system over generations. What I wonder, in connection to Kernbergs reasoning, is how dysfunctional families use of strategies to "protect" the children from the truths in the dysfunctional family distorts the integration? There was nothing to complain about as a child but the narrative during my childhood was not really true.